Gym People

I’ve always preferred to exercise at home.  But now that I have a moppet running around, it’s challenging.  I either get up before her (once upon a time this was easy, but now I realize I love sleep) or exercise during her nap, which I’d rather be doing other things like laundry, preparing dinner, reading, shopping online, watching Botched, etc.  So I joined a gym because it includes free daycare.  Yup, FREE DAYCARE!  I can not only exercise but also take a shower.  And baby gets some time socializing with other ankle-biters.  It’s glorious.

So I’ve mostly been taking four 45-60 minute classes each week.  That’s it.  No more daily workouts.  They’re actually quite challenging so I’m enjoying myself.  But I realized how much I’ve missed people watching.  Since I don’t have any friends that attend this gym, I have nobody to talk to about these people.  So you are the lucky ones reading this blog about the interesting people there.  After reading this, you might not want to join.  But you should, if anything, so we can talk about these people.

So here it goes.  Here’s some of the interesting people one may encounter at the gym and in classes (in general…not just at the Y):Under Armour Guy

TIGHT T-SHIRT GUY:  You know who I’m talking about.  He’s typically wearing Under Armour shirts.  Perhaps he’s trying to show off his guns to take away from his large belly.  He needs a girlfriend, if for no other reason than to have someone help him buy bigger shirts.

THE INJURED: There is always someone in a brace doing things they probably shouldn’t be doing.  Someone actually had on a full on boot from a foot fracture and he was doing a kickboxing class.  I’m pretty sure his physician and therapist have no idea what he’s doing and he’s keeping it that way.

THE WANNA-BE INSTRUCTOR: If you aren’t leading the class, stop clapping, counting, yelling…just don’t talk.

THE SLOUCHER: Bad posture with high intensity or complex exercises can lead to a myriad of issues such as cervical and lumbar back pain, shoulder pain, nerve pain, etc.  But usually these people have no idea how bad it is.  They should see a trainer.

THE OVERACHIEVER IN QUANTITY: There is no need to workout for more than one hour a day unless you are training for something or grossly overweight.  Taking 2 classes each day is overkill.  Heart problems, osteoporosis, severe dehydration, loss of menstrual cycle, reproductive problems and stress fractures can result from over-exercising.  No bueno.

THE OVERACHIEVER IN RESISTANCE: It looks impressive at first, but it isn’t so impressive when you have to stop early and are spent 1/2 way through the exercise.  If you can’t perform the move the instructor is doing with that heavy weight you chose, pick a lighter weight.  You’re not fooling anyone, you’re embarrassing yourself and this again can lead to injury.

THE ELDERLY: God bless you for taking these challenging classes and showing up every day.  Even though you modify every single move and stay at the back of the class so nobody sees you, you’re committed to fitness.  You’re awesome.

THE BEAUTY QUEEN: She puts on a full face of make up before exercising.  I mean, she’s wearing more make up than I did on my wedding day.  If you are wearing a wedding band, I haven’t a clue why you do this.  Look around you.  Nobody cares.

THE SMOKE SHOW: There are some hot women that are ripped in the weight room and every once in a while, they might take a class.  Listen up middle-aged men – if you are single, go to the gym!

THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY:  Of course I go to the gym when all the stay at home mom’s go.  I’m often surrounded by these.  They’ll be happy to share with the entire gym their weekend plans but most of their talk is complaining about their kids.

THE TOO SHORT SHORTS GUY: Stay away.  Far, far away!  And whatever you do…DON’T LOOK!

THE SELFIE-TAKER: Typically a female highschooler, perhaps a self-obsessed male.  Everyone knows if you must take these pictures, it should be done in the privacy of your own home.  Do whatever you can to photobomb their picture.  gymselfie



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